I just had a fight with Chris over this new business he and his friends are starting. I tried to be supportive at first, but tonight, facing being left at home alone for a "business meeting" for the second night in a row, on a Saturday night no less, I told him what I thought.
I told him I thought it was a bad idea. That he's wasting his energy and time, taking away from our time together, for something that's going to make him very little money, if any. That it's going to become a huge headache, and he's going to end up hating it.
Now maybe I can't be sure that's what's going to happen. But it's what I'm afraid will happen.
We both already have full time jobs. That takes away most of our day. Let's face it, nine hours is most of the day, especially when you're conked out on the couch about four hours after getting out of work. And the time we do have together, we're not really "together". We don't have anything to talk about anymore... when we go out to eat we sit and eat and barely say two words to each other. When I try to carry on a conversation with him, I'll talk about work or the latest crazy thing I read about on the internet (because that's pretty much my life), and he shows no interest. And now I'm supposed to give up the weekends, the only chance we get to maybe have some quality time together or with our friends, and I'm supposed to be perfectly happy about it.
And we've been down the business-starting road before. None of our previous ventures have made us a dime; it was a lot of hours of our lives that we can never get back, and nothing to show for it. And usually what did us in was the aggravation of actually trying to administer a business. Sure, he's good at what it is they actually want to do... they all are. And if they did that while somebody else ran the show, it would be great and they'd love it. But when you own the business, you spend most of your time worrying about profits and losses, trying to figure out what legal paperwork has to be filed where and when, wondering how much you're going to owe in taxes and if you'll actually have the money to pay them, etc. etc... and very little time actually doing what it is you wanted to do in the first place.
As it is, I hate being around him when he's pissed off. And I know from my own boss, when you run a business, you spend a lot of time pissed off. You have to deal with people you'd rather not deal with, who piss you off. And even with the people you're in business with, you start to have disagreements which turn into arguments, which turn into screaming matches and being pissed off at each other. And I'm afraid of that too. His friends, they're great people. These three guys, and their girlfriends... all of us, we're a close group. I don't want to see any of those relationships damaged.
So now that he knows how I really feel about the whole thing, he's pissed at me. Maybe I am a terrible girlfriend. I won't apologize for the way I feel, but should I have just kept it to myself... forever?
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