I probably should have posted this on Friday, but I hadn't yet really formulated what I wanted to say. Plus, I wasn't really able to focus on anything other than how lousy I felt. By the way, I'm feeling a little bit better, but still feel like I should be better than I am, so I'm probably going to call the doctor tomorrow.
Anyway, last week I heard my share of Valentine's Day dissent - that is, people encouraging the boycotting of Valentine's Day for various reasons. The general gripe is that it's a holiday that was invented by greeting card companies, designed to make you spend money, with no basis in religion or historical events. Even overlooking that this is not even factually accurate, so what? Why does a holiday have to originate with religion or significant historical happenings? Why can't we as a society just decide that we want to have a holiday to honor something that's important to us, in this case our significant others? The greeting card companies may have started it, but the majority of society has embraced it, and there are plenty of ways to celebrate it without padding Hallmark's pockets. For the record, though we did go out for a nice meal, Chris and I did not even buy each other cards.
The next argument I hear is that we shouldn't need a special day to show our partners how much we love them; it should be something we do all the time. Please. If Valentine's Day is the only time you show your significant other how much you care, well then yes, you have a problem. Of course we show our affection in various ways all throughout the year. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with having a specific day designated for making a point of demonstrating some romantic gesture. I personally think it's incredibly cool to be out at a restaurant and see countless other couples, knowing that they are all there to celebrate their love, just like we are.
What about Mother's Day? Is that the only time all year that you honor your mother? Of course not. But I guarantee you won't see any of these Valentine's Day haters advocating the abolishment of Mother's Day, for fear of being thwapped on the back of the head by their own mothers.
Mothers, fathers, grandparents, secretaries, nurses, teachers... these are all groups which get a special day each year on which they are celebrated and appreciated. That doesn't mean you treat them like dirt the rest of the year. Why is it so bad to add lovers to that list?
Finally, the most pathetic argument I've heard is that there is some sort of double standard. That men are expected to buy things for their female companions, but women don't have to do anything for their men. That's the most absurd thing I have ever heard. First of all, like I said before, no one is required to buy anything. It's something you agree upon as a couple. On past Valentine's Days, Chris and I have always exchanged gifts equally. Sometimes I have bought him silk boxers, sometimes his favorite candy, or even a video game I know he's been holding out for. I've never expected him to give me a gift without me giving anything back. If your woman expects as much, she's just a selfish person. If you want a different arrangement, tell her that, and if she doesn't agree then she's not worth it. (For the record, this year I didn't buy him anything, but that's because I thought we were keeping it to dinner only to save money. He surprised me with an awesome gift, and I will make it up to him next year.)
Bottom line, if you don't want to observe Valentine's Day, then don't. But who do you think you are, telling anyone else that they shouldn't observe it either?
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