What seems to be a recurring theme when I start falling into depression is a lack of local friends of my own to hang out with separately from Chris. What I mean by that is, I have a lot of friends here, but they are all Chris' friends and their spouses... and we hang out with them as a couple, but individually, they only hang out with him. If there is no Chris, there is no Carly. So when he goes by himself to do something with some of them, the rest show no interest in spending time with me. So I sit at home, alone.
This past week, reaching a breaking point, I decided to do something about it. Something which I was afraid might make me look like a desperate loser, but then realized, no more so than the people I would meet. I started browsing the "strictly platonic" personal ads on Craigslist.
Saturday night, while Chris was out with some of the boys and I was yet again stuck at home alone, I saw and responded to a new ad posted by someone who seemed to be in a similar situation. Next thing I knew, we had exchanged instant messaging IDs and were chatting away. We talked for a few hours, and had a ton of things in common. And then, that's when the part of the conversation happened that made my jaw hit the floor. I was describing the nature of my disability, without having actually named it. And "L" not only immediately identified it as arthrogryposis, she has a good friend, whom she's known since high school, who has it as well!
I have not spent time in person with another person with AMC since my years at MDA summer camp. It's been at least twelve years. Lauren said the closest person her friend knows with it lives in Virginia. At that moment I knew that I was destined to find that ad and meet these two girls.
Chris and I met L for dinner last night at Rick's Roadhouse. She's quiet, like I am when I meet someone new, so it was a little tricky getting the conversation started, but we did. We shared pictures and stories of our doggies (she has four, one of which has a disability of his own). Oh, and L herself has some medical issues as well.
I'm looking forward to getting together again, and meeting L's other friend with AMC. This could be the start of something good!
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