*sigh* Okay.
Wow. I got smacked hard with the depression stick, and such an odd time of year for it. I usually save that kind of misery for January or February. I'm not going to go into all the details here on the circumstances that triggered this downward spiral, because at this point I think bitching and moaning about things would be counterproductive. I'm on my way back up and now I need to focus on the positive. Besides, you don't want to read about all of my problems.
One of the things I credit with contributing to this week's turnaround is the fact that I am back on track with my diet. After a long summer of making really poor nutritional choices, I was dragging my feet over cutting my calories back down to a weight-loss level, but now that I've dug in and done it I've realized it was not nearly as hard as I thought it was going to be. I've met my calorie goal for three days in a row and am well on my way to a fourth, and though my stomach has grumbled about it a bit, I haven't found myself emotionally craving food at all - and a couple of Tums will quiet down the beast in my belly just fine. (It's just stretched out a bit and will shrink with time.) This time instead of setting specific weight goals, I'm simply going by the number of days I stay under my calorie limit. Every fourteen successful days, I will reward myself with a week of slightly increased calorie intake (at a break-even level instead of a weight-loss level) as well as one specific naughty craving I've denied myself. The first one will either be Chinese food or a slice of pumpkin pie - I haven't decided yet. I will only weigh myself at the beginning and end of my "reward week", just for the purpose of calculating calorie limits.
Anyway, my success at eating right this week has given me a good confidence boost, which is something I definitely needed. Another thing that has pulled me back up a little bit more, which is going to sound strange, is the bout with insomnia I had to deal with last night. I know, "what?" But this was the good kind of insomnia: the kind where you start trying to fall asleep and your brain suddenly starts figuring things out, figuring out what needs to be done to make things better, and you can't shut it off and you almost don't want to because you're afraid all of these epiphanies will be forgotten by morning if you fall asleep.
So I'm still kind of at a loss for what to write about in order to keep this blog fresh, but I do want to get back to posting at least a couple of times a week. If nothing else, I'll keep you all apprised of my success with my diet, progress with other goals I have set to get my life in order, and probably sprinkle in some amusing photos and/or video of the "kids" to put a smile on everyone's faces.
![[photo of me]](/glasses144.jpg)
![[album thumbnail]](/photos/flood2010/thumbnails/albumthumb.jpg)
![[album thumbnail]](/photos/oregon2009/thumbnails/albumthumb.jpg)
